Ron Swanson ProTips

Have the best week possible. Have a steak, work with you hands and go easy on the salad - you're not a rabbit.

I took Ron Swanson's advice and worked in the out-of-doors to plant some flowers on the porch. It's not much, but for me it's like some kind of verdant heaven. It's mine and I'm proud of it.

I also finished the Procrastination Shawl. I don't really know how to wear it, because it's not quite big enough to be a practical shawl but wearing it as a scarf kind of looks baby bib-like:

My house is a mess, but my shawl turned out pretty neat!

This is the face of a tired 26 year old wearing a purple bib

But still, it's finished! And that feels pretty good. I'm working on a bunch of little gift projects now, we'll see if I can pull it out in a ridiculously short amount of time. Nothing like putting off your gifts to making something for yourself that you'll hardly use. Huzzah!

I'm kind of stressing this gift for my mom in particular. I had a brainstorm to make her a cool wrap to wear with a dress she's wearing to a wedding we're both attending this weekend. The yarn I got is hand-dyed (read: overpriced) and contains her favorite colors: tones of blues and dark purples. But as I'm knitting it up... it's just really starting to look.... well... "busy"? Or, if I'm being honest, possibly like cupcake barf?

Not the best picture, but you get the idea. I'm not sure what to do at this point, since we're on a TIGHT deadline. Maybe I'll just give it to her after the wedding so she won't feel forced to wear it? Oy... perfect example of why you keep it simple when giving gifts. Don't spend a ton on your yarn or your pattern because no one really knows the difference and hand crafted awesome yarn is only pretty in the eye of the craft nerd beholder. LEARNING.

Felt Up

Big news on Project Baby Bootie.

I am a successful felter, folks. I felt things now. Add it to the ol' skill set because I, ladies and gentleman, can shrink up some wool:

I'm sure you recall with perfect clarity the previous attempts with mystery yarn that turned out to not even be wool:

Fail.

Whale.

But those days are over now and I'm thinking I'll have a pair of super-cute stompers by the time this weekend is over. If you'll pardon me repeating myself: THESE ARE SO CUTE. I love the red, don't you? They're screaming for lil' apple buttons, are they not?

Speaking of skill acquirement (and also another dangerously expensive hobby), I'm teaching myself how to spin my own yarn! I ordered a kit from etsy that came with a basic drop spindle and 2 ounces of Merino wool. The result was clumsy, but could be identified by the non-picky as 'yarn'.

I didn't take too many photos because this first attempt has a face only a mother could love, as they say. But I have 12 yards of 1 ply yarn that wasn't a thing before, so that feels like an accomplishment. I will, of course, keep you updated on any developments in this area, as I know you'll be on the edge of your seat. Spinning is very relaxing and is the perfect activity for my little 4 foot x 7 foot porch on a nice day. So don't worry, I promise I go outside every once in a while!!

Can't visualize what I mean by "drop spindle"?  Here's the video that started it all for me:

Be warned, she makes it look so easy, but like most things, it takes a while to make her skills look effortless.

As a reward for reading through all of that crafting chatter, here's a little song for the weekend, with a side of nostalgia:

Details

I just finished a big work project that also happens to commemorate the end of the organization's fiscal year. It happens every year, but it's always a big undertaking. As you wrap up a year, there's always time for reflection and lessons learned. In finishing this big project, the satisfaction I usually feel has not rolled over me quite yet. This is partially due to all the work still to be done in the last few days of this year, but it's also because I was able to accomplish so much, but none of it with out mistakes.

I mentioned in a previous post that I started a Procrastination Shawl 'just because', even while I have an ever-growing gift pile that needs attention. It knitted up quickly at first, but has since stayed the same size.

Before: When I cared about presenting you with a quality blog

After: when I did not care what your precious little sensibilities might make of my
horrible cell phone camera

Not because I haven't been working on it, but because I've had to rip out rows more than once due to lost counts, dropped stitches and even forgetting which side was the Right Side and the Wrong Side. Interestingly, this hasn't bothered me very much - probably because the yarn I'm using is cheap and ugly and the pattern is interesting to me but not something I fell in love with ages ago. I'm just enjoying the process and learning new skills along the way. This is known as "process knitting", a simple concept I heard about on an old episode of the KnitPicks podcast. You're knitting to knit and not for a result. This type of approach has taught me more than I can say and has really helped me not only learn from my mistakes but also freed me from constantly beating myself to death over every problem. I think I'm going to apply this a new approach to my workload and see if it helps me avoid mistakes and ultimately overcome them. I'm going to try to enjoy work for the sake of being busy. I'll let you know how that works out for me - if I even remember typing this in the morning.

In other news, the year-end project had it's perks. Yummy hors d'oeuvres and a gift - new plastic cup with straw! It may not be my beloved Tervis Tumbler, but it's a close second, pal.

Cup shown in foreground. Dog included for scale.

This post is brought to you by: an ill-advised late night stop at the Rock n' Roll McDonald's for a large Diet Coke.

Hey-o

So, look. I had an update for you last week, but then Blogger was down and then I had to get back to work, nawmsayin?

Sorry for the absence. After this week, I'll be able to get back into a regular routine. Meanwhile, this pretty much sums up my approach toward the rest of the week:

Of COURSE, I continue to knit. Right now, I'm working on something totally incongruent with the amount of gifts I should be making for other people. It's a "shawl" but most likely will be warn as a scarf and it's a super fast knit. The following was cast on and knitted on a bus ride to and from work:

  
It's a deeper purple than pictured and it's a great deal of Barney to be draping around one's shoulders, but being able to finish something quickly with yarn that's just sitting there brings me joy. It's called the Procrastination Shawl for a reason.

I also finished my project for my Ravelry Swap/One group and got it all mailed off to Canada yesterday!

FIN

Now I'm off to have the most productive day in history at work. At least, it better be. Join me, won't you?!

Work Cyclone!

I'm stuck in one - you ever been there? Of course you have.

It's really eating into my bloggy time, but I'll power through for you all and get back to it really soon! Swearzies!

In the meantime, I'm working on my sister's over-due birthday present. A scarf for a certain University in Indiana... I'm trying to make it REVERSIBLE and making MY OWN COLOR CHART, so the first draft wasn't 100% what I was going for:

So, the "U" is more like YOOOOOU in that it is too wide, dontcha think? Also, the sides were hella fug, so I fixed my technique on that front. Still, it's a start and the second incarnation is working out for me. Updates on that soon, promise!

The Runs

Well the post-work run went very well. I ended up running a full mile, even though it felt like I barely made it a quarter of that. Not running on a track is definitely the way to go as far as I'm concerned, you can see your goal in the distance and push yourself to get there. Yes, please!

On the downside, I feel all my tendons and hamstrings tightening up on me today. My whole lower body feels like a version of this:

Note: Not my hands, thankyouverymuch

But that's good, right? It means the exercise is WORKING or something. I'm waiting for the fun that's supposed to accompany this process. Any day now, I guess...

One suggestion I would like to make is segregated exercise spaces. There are no words on earth that can describe how dispiriting it is to have someone who is out running for "maintenance" of a slammin' bod lap you four of five times in a single run. I think the maintainers should have their own path and me an the other shlubs who got really freaked out watching that 1,000 pound man documentary on TLC at 1 in the morning on Saturday should have our own. Something like:

Professional artist's rendering

In Knitty News:
I finished another drink cozy yesterday all set to ship off to Canada! I just need to find some cool buttons to sew on it - maybe I'll be brave enough to journey up to the thrift store by my house tomorrow. We'll see!

I also worked on another baby bootie while watching Cheers on Netflix last night. I need to adjust my gauge, clearly, because they turned out to be twice the size they're supposed to be. This really just means I need to do math. Which means I threw the bootie on the FAIL pile and had to walk away. This is where the Never Ending Cardigan comes in handy - nice, repetitive stitches that make sense and fit. We shall see what the weekend brings (besides more rain, boo!)

U cold?

I'm 'in training' for a very short race on June 16. It's a 5K and I know that your average person can knock that out after eating a plate of nachos on Super Bowl Sunday, but for me, it's the ULTIMATE CHALLENGE. I'm not a good runner, never have been. I'm slow and I panic when I feel like I can't breath, so it takes me a while to get back in the swing of things.

Update: I'm running the in Jim Gibbons Traffic Jam 5K in support of the Leukemia Research Foundation. If you'd consider giving a few bucks to the cause to support my efforts, it would be most appreciated in addition to being money-well-donated. If you're laughing at the idea of me running in any sort of road race at all, please donate $100 now. Don't I entertain you ENOUGH? To donate, click here.

If I take time off from running consistently, I automatically go back to square one where I can only go a half-mile. So, as you have calculated in that brilliant little head of yours, that's not anywhere close to the 3.1 miles I need to build up to. Therefore, this week has left me feeling a little defeated and so I'm not feeling especially bloggy. I shall keep you posted - I'm going to be running after work today so I have NO EXCUSES. We'll see how that goes!

Since I'm in the defeatist mind-set, I need to once again celebrate a small victory! I completed a little knitting project - a Mug Cozy! (We're Just That Awesome Cozy from Sweatshop of Love)

I was testing the pattern out for a swap I'm participating in via Ravelry. My partner lives in Canada and loves pink & purple, so I felt bad forcing my favorite color on her:

Verdict: I'll just keep this little winner for myself and modify the pattern for a larger gauge to use up some of my pink Lion Brand Cotton ease left over from the baby blanket I made my cousin. Hey, it's the little things!

Scrub-a-dub

Well, I missed the deadline to turn in my washcloth for charity. I feel like a real rapscallion, but work has to come first. (Cue Sad Trombone)

It actually turned out for the best, because while the cloth turned out fine to the average eye:

All I see is:

So I figured "What the heck?", turned it up to 11 on the Bad Person Amplifier and decided to test the quality of the washcloth on myself. And you know what? I freaking LOVED IT! The wave pattern, though positively riddled with errors is so soft and great for washing your face. The other side has these nice seedstitch nubs that exfoliate like a dream. Sorry children at a Haitian hospital, but I think I'm going to be using my cotton scraps to keep me in washcloths and soft skin. I promise to increase my giving to PSI and the Red Cross next year, ok? Friends?

Charlie Sheen Ain't Got Nothin' on Me

How's your day been going?

Well, that's good/ too bad.

Me? Oh, I've just being doing a great deal of data entry, enjoying some of this long-awaited sunshine and WINNING A CONTEST.

Sweatshop of Love is celebrating its 5 year anniversary and gave away two patterns and the yarn to go with it. I entered both and won the:

Loop Entrelac Top

and the yarn to go with it, betches!

I mean, look over my last month of posts. FREE YARN and FREE PATTERN?! Heaven. Happy Monday... and pardon me for gloating, but "Winner, winner, chicken dinner."

Good Morning, America

 

And yes, it does feel strange to celebrate a death as a victory and yes, I am thinking that over. But that high-school Republican in me seems to have only been lying dormant in my heart on this particular issue.

UPDATE: “I’ve never wished a man dead, but I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.” - Mark Twain

WANT

Mod Cloth is crushing it today. I'm in need of summer skirts and dresses, but this is beyond basic need fulfillment. It's just lust at this point:

Want

Hell Yes

Shut it down

So ugly, yet so RIGHT

I'll take two

New Summer Uniform

Puts me in mind of a childhood favorite:

Cardigan Update

Slow and steady wins the race, people.

Admittedly taken during my lunch break after some productive CTA Knitting

Oh, that's right. Your eyes do not deceive you. That is a nearly completed SLEEVE and it took me almost two weeks. Whew!

Doin' and Doin' It

Maybe it's because I've been staying up later, maybe it's because I heard Jimmy Fallon interviewed on the Nerdist Podcast or maybe it's because I watched The Karate Kid remake and have the Smith family on the brain, but I'm starting to think that I legitimately like and prefer this version of Whip My Hair:

Or maybe I'm just old and caucasian.

Yikes, that's probably it.

Et tu, Bootie?

I promise I'll tackle more subjects than just my artsy little addiction, but my 3-5 readers (we're growing, you guys!) are local to Chicago and understand just how much rain and gloom we've had lately. It's nice to come home to projects that aren't laundry, giving the dog a bath or boredom eating.

In the interest of not totally boring you to death, let me take one moment to say that for the first time I ever in my life, the person I wanted to win a reality show competition from the first episode actually won! It's a nice feeling and incredibly unsatisfying, but you need to embrace all victories in life! So, congratulations RAJA  for reading those other queens to DEATH on RuPaul's Drag Race. I've loved you since the moment you walked in the stage door and I realized you were the makeup artist on America's Next Top Model. Love her, mean it.

You're a CHAMP-I-ON

So great. Seriously, if you haven't been watching, drop everything and watch that shit this minute. This MINUTE, I tell you.

Back to Adventures in Knittery with Great Auntie Doogs.

I was able to complete the pattern with no problems this time around! I picked a different scrap yarn because I had more of it and it still had a wooley feel to it. I'm pleased that I finished a bootie that actually looks like something:

This is where the good news ends. The problem with teaching yourself to knit by trial-and-error is that, unsurprisingly, you make many, many errors. In this case, I have a bunch of yarn that I can't identify and therefore don't know what it's actually made of. In order to "felt" a project, the yarn has to be animal fiber that locks itself together through exposure to hot water and agitation. I threw the bootie into the wash on "hot" with an extra pot of almost boiling water to make sure things were nice and scalding with heavy towels to make sure it got a good beating. And it came out.... looking exactly as pictured above. I'm guessing that the yarn may feel wooly but may actually be a blend or superwash wool that is designed to not felt. The OTHER problem could be that I'm knitting too tightly because I'm using bigger yarn than the pattern calls for.

The solution is clear - I need to test swatch some of my scrap yarn and see if I can get any of it to felt. This is not a huge setback or anything, I'm just hoping to use yarn I already own instead of buying more. Ebay yarn is going to ruin my life, you see, and even though I'd be a really well dressed street urchin, you can't eat SweetGeorgia Tough Love Sock in Cayenne. I'm just kidding - I don't own that yet, it's on my "watch" list!

It's my duty to make that bootie

I'm in the middle of working on a cardigan for myself and it is taking a long, looooong time. This is because it's knit in a smaller gauge than I've ever knitted before - I'm using sock yarn which is very thin. Sock yarn is also known as fingering weight (gross) or 4 ply (sounds like toilet paper).

To keep myself from going crazy, I'm trying to start smaller projects that can be finished in a few hours just to remind myself that I actually am capable of finishing things. The smallest projects of all, of course, are things for babies. To clarify: these are items FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S BABIES thankyouverymuch.

I'm also trying to increase the skillz in my knitting repertoire, which is how I arrived at the great idea to make the Felted Baby Booties previously mentioned. Last night, I got home from a long day at work, brought up Easy A on Netflix on Demand (I give it an easy B in terms of entertainment value) and started the pattern. I was so pleased at how fast and easy it was to work on something for a tiny foot. It was looking like I was going to have a whole bootie done before heading to bed! But then...

Oh, what's that? I mis-read the pattern and didn't build the other half of the cuff? Greeeeat.

Reading is my strong suit, it's counting that does me in!

Aw, well. I've had to re-do many a project due to a careless errors like this. I'm even thinking about ripping back the sleeve on my cardigan that's taken me a week to build because I did some of the stitch decreases in the wrong order. But I'm going to table that and just start the booties over again. It will be faster this time now that I've done the pattern 90% properly, right?

Then the real fun begins - felting in my lil' washing machine! Hoooboy.

In conclusion - Booties: Can I Kick 'em?

The best... around!

I think we all need a little Karate Kid theme music to get us through this week. Seeing the sun this morning made me feel like spring will eventually come and I'll just need to do a couple of high kicks to sail on into the weekend.

In other news, I'm going a little over-board in the arts and farts and crafts department. I'm in the middle of the aforementioned cardigan project and it's taking freaking forever. Therefore, I'm picking out a few quick hits so I can actually finish something for once. What's the fastest thing over? Baby booties, of course. Tiny feet, little work. I can deal with that. The inspiration for the next project came from the site Ravelry.com, which is basically Facebook for knit and crocheters. SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE.

Mmmbut seriously, folks. Just look at these. Look at them:

Via a fellow Ravelry member's (northpoll) photo stream

Wooden apple button. I don't care who you are, that's fucking adorable. A. dorable. The fuzziness comes from a process called "felting" which will be a new skill for me if all goes well. If not, no harm done, for it will be a minimal loss of resources.

Uh-oh

I'm super swamped at work... which can only mean one thing: I MISS BLOGGING.

Hey, it's cheaper than buying yarn and sundresses on e-Bay. Whatever, ya'll know ya'lls JEALOUS. 

What's new with me? Quick hits:

More knitting:

This will be a cardigan. Just in time for summer!

For a very tiny person or stuffed animal of some sort

It's a 'cowl'. For warming your neck. Only it just kind of lays there and is not warm. Oh, well.

New Relationship:

His name's Brian. He's a nice young man.

Same dog, same job, same house.

There. I think we're all caught up. Want to see what's on the docket for impulse online shopping?

The swimsuit I've always wanted:

Mod Cloth FTW

Shoes that remind you to call your mother:

Rangs:

I'll never own this, but a girl can dream

Knitting a version of this:




More to come, because I miss my two readers on the five blogs I've started in the past five years.