Friday, February 5, 2010

The Tough Questions

Google has your back

Off the top of my head...

#1) Because all fetuses are female until the XY chromosome develops
#2) Refracted light
#3) Green Jello or it is the day after St. Patrick's Day
#4) Because racists have ultra-sensitive hearing from decades of inbreeding
#5) Tyler Perry will let you know when he's good an ready, sir
#6) The Treaty of Saskatchewan, 1775
#7) Because they are animals and you fed him table scraps, dumbass
#8) BRAS, grandma.
#9) The better to guard the gates of hell with
#10) Clever. You're too funny for words! GO OUTSIDE.

They don't call me McGoogle for nothing!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Immaturity Alert

Poor Andy! You don't have to struggle any more - just tell already. TELL US!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Don't Watch Lost? Didn't Catch Lost? Don't Read This.


** I made a pact with a dear friend of mine who promised she would watch The West Wing if I would start watching Lost again. I need to coordinate my thoughts, so I'm using this web space I have let go to the proverbial weeds to regroup. **

What did I learn?
- Locke is not Locke but is a physical manifestation of The Smoke Monster which is the non-corporal form of The Man In Black.

- OMG HIROYUKI SANADA IS NOW IN THE CAST OF LOST. There was an audible squeal of glee up in my house. For those of you didn't see The Last Samurai four times during finals week of your junior year in college in the same movie theater as now-NFL-quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, he played Ujio - right hand man to Samurai Leader Katsumoto and a man who beats the HELL out of Tom Cruise repeatedly (as we are all wont to do). Long story short, Sanada-san is awesome and it made the whole six seasons of craziness worth it.

He'll cut a bitch. (Or a Tom Cruise)

- The Temple has healing water.

- The healing water is broken? Or diluted somehow? When Sanada cut his and and dipped it in the water - it did not magically heal right away. This is probably because Jacob is "dead" (which I still don't buy 100%).

- The Smoke Monster has an ash aversion.

- There are two stories playing out, one where everything is reset and one where they're still stuck on the island in Present Day.

- The issue of fate is coming up again in the "back on O815" story. Things that happened to people on the island are still happening to the passengers. The Marshall still got hit in the same spot on his head - it was just by Kate in the bathroom this time. Jack still can't find his dad's body. Charlie says that Jack "should have let him die". Maybe it is all supposed to happen?

Did you notice?

- The hourglass at the Magic Water had light and dark sand in it?!?

- I bet the hourglass is 1 minute and eight seconds... or not.

- I'm bad at picking up subtle things in this show.

New Questions:

- The Man in the Dark Shirt can only be one dead person at a time, right?

- Since Sayid got up from the mat in his own body, does that mean that the water has to kill you to heal you?

- What is the water? Is it water? What does it do?

- Does Dark Shirt have an army? Or are the Temple People just fighting him as The Smoke Monster?

- Are the temple people a mixture of The Others (who had to hide there on Ben's orders) and other people that already lived there?

- Is the "back on the O815" story happening simultaneously or is it another time travel thing that plays out beforeafter the temple shenanigans?

Old Questions:

- Is there a reason that they buried so many 'stunned people' alive early on in the show? Can they be reanimated somehow?

- What's the name of the Man in the Dark Shirt?

- What is Jacob and the Man in the Dark Shirt?

- Why is is there so much Egyptian iconography? Did the island start out in the Nile?

- What's up with Team Ilana?

- Why does the island kill pregnant women? Is it because of the electromagnetism?

- Why doesn't Richard age?

- How did Richard et. al. get on the island?

- Does Ben have any redeaming qualities? Is he just a pawn?

- What do The Numbers mean?

- Why did Jacob have to touch the certain Losties at different parts of their lives?

- Is Locke perma- dead?

- Is there more significance to Ann Arbor where Dharma seems to have an HQ station?


Theories at this point:

Paradise Lost plays into this some how. The title "Lost" really doesn't make sense for the show since they really haven't been lost so much as 'brought' to the island. Also the whole Light/Dark thing and the people buried in the caves with the light stone and the dark stone.


Locke: DOWNGRADE. You're not even Locke - you're possessed with the dark side! o815 Locke was the Locke I knew and loved, but still, you can't recover from being the face of evil at the start of a season.

Hurley: UPGRADE. He's pulling himself together in Back on the Island World. He still gets freaked out, but is able to regroup much faster when visited by a spirit no one else can see.

Sawyer: DOWNGRADE. So sad now! He's an open wound and it's going to be dangerous. I think he whitened his teeth even more in the Season hiatus.

Kate: UPGRADE. She's doing what she does best: support staff work.

Juliet: UPGRADE - but I'm still really sick of watching you fall down that hole in the ground to your death, but not quite, but to then hit the bomb and then to not quite die, then to be rescued and die. Bye, Juliet. Maybe?

Jin & Sun: PERMAUPGRADE because I love them.

Jack: HOLDING. He's floundering, but at least he's not his overly-sure self that is committed to one course of action that screws everyone over every single time.

Sayid: HOLDING. What are you? Who are you? Are you going to kill us all?

Desmond/Charlie/Boone/Claire: UPGRADE. Hey, you're back - in an alternate universe at least...