Thursday, August 28, 2008

Don't trust the bitch

me: GIRL

M. S-S:

Can I just say that I know it's a dull season because I agree with the judges on EVERYTHING

M. S-S
: most obvious auf ever?

seriously. all the panic-y talking about the judges in the room

M. S-S: gay mormon meltdown
now with more rattail

my friend was like "oooh... and it's not a pretty cry, either"

M. S-S: i was so annoyed with him by the end that i was just like, "k, bye"

How can you get pissed at a model for needing to sit down for hair and make up?
those girls are six foot two
the stylists can't get out a ladder or something

M. S-S: and he was all, "I KNEW you would sit down"
poor little dress form

me: ... then have her take that piece of CRAP off
it was so So SO ugly

Peace out, Keif! What a horrid swan song...

M. S-S: heeeeeedious
it actually reminded me of daniel v's clothes off your back design from season 2
that one was heinous too

me: LOVED when Laura did the "... excuse me?" bright smile

M. S-S: i was like, "Keith is going to be nothing but a bloody smear on the runway when Laura gets done with him"
she's my all time fave PR contestant

me: seriously. I hate that feeling of watching them argue up there
when you're just yelling at the TV "STOP! JUST STOP!!"
Laura was a great "not nina" judge
I have to say, I was suprised with how many outfits turned out to be good looking

M. S-S: yeah
i mean, i think i liked them all except keith's

I thought stella's skirt looked nice
on the model
if you didn't look at the details

It looks like Fashion Plates - the top and the bottom clearly don't go...
M. S-S: i liked stella's design
and i like her model

At least it was her
she really works to the challenge, which I can respect

M. S-S: that's why i thought it was really weird she decided to go "ladylike" this time

well, the leatha was the obvious way to go

M. S-S: i thought for sure she would stand out because she has experience with leather, grommets, etc/

I'm glad she was aware of it
I mean... to be honest with you... I'm glad she's not a one note
like... oh... KEITH!?!

M. S-S: but when you have the perfect skill set for a challenge, you shouldn't go off in another direction

tooooot that's my one-note recorder for Keif

M. S-S: keith is SUCH a one note
look at my fringe!

me: I agree with you on Stella. It was made for her
Lamey McLamerton

M. S-S: here is my point of reference for this challenge:
(did you watch ANTM season 9? when saleisha won?)
anyway, that season they had to pose with "recycleable materials"

Funny, that was actually on right before the new PR
YES, I totally remember that

M. S-S: and saleisha had to pose with car parts
car parts!

I do remember that

M. S-S: which led to us cackling and shouting CAR PARTS
and car parts starts to sound like, not even real words, when you shout it repeatedly
so last night was the return of the car parts

that's how I feel about the word "scissor box" used on Sheer Genius
Such a crazy grouping of words!
scissor box!
and who PUTS scissors in a box

M. S-S: scissor box!
sounds, um....pornographic

me: I KNOW
i am seriously laughing right now
"stylists, you have each selected a SCISSOR BOX!"
it sounds like a drag club
where Acid Betty would headline

yes it does
actually that might be my drag name

haha, then be prepared to have me explode in laughter every time you introduce yourself
I'll return the favor and be Lotta Carparts

M. S-S: the word box is ALWAYS funny to me

box and pants are my two 'hilarity words'
alex's is 'bus'
OH. Also: can we talk about your girl Kenley?
Her concept was good, but that model could barely walk in that outfit
it was like she was wearing a paper towel roll

Today in art class I made a paper towel lady!

M. S-S: that model sucks ass though, remember

hmm... i actually don't recall

shannon could have walked the shit out of that shit

there have been a few non-model challenges
so I get confuseled

M. S-S: i think her new model is germaine...kelli's old model

Ooooh, right

M. S-S: and i have hated her since day one
her face is abrasive to me

me: that's why I didn't notice
I feel that Korto's model can read a bit... masculine

M. S-S: and she walks like...remember last season when victorya directed her model to walk like an "ice princess?"
like that
korto's model looks PISSED
all the time

she really does
and sometimes like a pissed man

M. S-S: this is a sad and sorry bunch of hangers

It really is
although ... Jerrell made a comment that made me wonder:
he said "she got a job that actually paid!"
do they not pay those B-list walkers?
because that would make alot of sense
and shock me that they ever got Claire and Martinique

M. S-S: nope, no money for the models
they do it for the exposure

I was not aware

M. S-S: and the opportunity to get ridiculed by a televised audience, apparently

now I realize why they are flakey and mostly lame
I mean, I felt bad for Kenley, but it's not as if they were like "Sorry, Shannon has dropped out. Your replacement model is Cameron Manhiem!"

M. S-S: true
this was i think the first time i haven't liked kenley's design

just rip a stitch and deal

but i suspect it would have looked better on shannon

I think Laura really liked the sillouette
that's so her

M. S-S: yeah, and that's my taste as well
so i'm prone to forgive all manner of kenley-related transgressions

even her super annoying personality!
which is starting to grate, I must say
I thought Jerrell did a great job on this challenge
especially when you consider that it's Jerrell

...From the knees up and the neck down...
M. S-S: yeah
(for jerrell)

and can't style his model for SHIT

M. S-S: yeah!
dude, you are a GAY MAN
pardon my stereotyping

seriously. I expect more

M. S-S: but surely you should be better at this shit
i thought there was something wonky going on with the boobs

and I really take offense you wearing a dashiki made out of a bed sheet and a sailor hat to the runway

M. S-S: and the styling pretty much ruined it for me



I like the use of the metal shapes and using the back side of the leather

Down at the car wash!
M. S-S: suck-licious

that was... scatterbrained
the broken mirror was so last-minute
it was total Tim-panic

M. S-S: i said that it looked like a car wash
and then michael kors said it too!

oooh, you are a genius!

M. S-S: proving michael kors and i are twins separated at birth

maybe you'll start making $38,000 coats

M. S-S: though i am slightly less orange
and ugly ass shoes

and dated bags

M. S-S: (his shoes are awful)

(sorry, had to say it)

M. S-S: (concur)

me: (Yes. this means it's off the record!)

M. S-S: and heidi -- i'm not sure it's actually 7 years no sex
more like 7 years bad luck

me: Right? I said "i think it's 7 years no sex if you're an international super model"

M. S-S: although that may be the same thing in the klum-seal household, so

I think that for Klum-Seal, bad luck and no sex would be interchangeable
because what other possible bad things could go on in their lives?
People is late for their "Normal Family" photo shoot?

M. S-S: oh no, my sexy igloo melted!


M. S-S: (you know the sexy igloo tale, right?)

... refresh my memory
I know I've heard it

M. S-S: the MY-husband-proposed-to-me-in-an-igloo-full-of-rose-petals-i-bet-yours-didn't tale?

oooooh right

M. S-S: models -- they're just like us!

your relationship is better!
you don't have all those pesky lovely-skinned children running amok

M. S-S: although, i have to say that having a husband who can perform "kiss from a rose" on demand is a distinct advantage
one point to mrs. klum seal

To quote Laura Winslow from Family Matters when she went to a Seal Concert circa 1995:
"He's so FOOOOINE!"

M. S-S: heh
nice reference
two points to you

so, good for Seal for staying relevant
unlike Laura Winslow

M. S-S: three points to seal

BUT - they live on the west coast
point to you
and your husband has no facial scars
even steven

M. S-S: hoorah!
now i just need to get working on my victoria's secret runway walk
those wings are heavy

Per Tyra:
it's hard

M. S-S: but thanks to tyra - i have learned how to smile with my eyes

Do you see the difference?
:) versus :)
See what I'm doing?!

M. S-S: mmmm yes

THAT'S a model

M. S-S.: ::heidi klum seal voice::
"let's talk about the ones we liked"

Hm.. now I have to go remind myself
I have to say I was kind of sad that the pallete was so... blah

M. S-S.: yeah
black and tan
korto's coat

Check, mate!

i would totally buy
i thought it was rockin'

me: it was good
terri is such a bitch

M. S-S.: but she's a fun bitch

me: indeed

M. S-S.: i liked her outfit too
i wish i knew what those pants were made of

Stella by Terri

me: I thought her outfit looked like something Stella would make!

M. S-S.: yeah, me too
for sure

me: It looked good though
and I like her model

M. S-S.: also liked leanne's a lot

me: I didn't like the fish tail in the back
but other than that
it was really cool

M. S-S.: it looked like balenciaga
with the tight bodice and the poofy hip things

me: that is so the silhouette right now

M. S-S.: yup
hooray for me and my no hips

me: Joe was so lucky to have immunity
It seriously looked like he cut to arm holes in a seat cover

*Brakes screech to a halt*

M. S-S: ewwww motorcross dress

me: and the RED
it's such a... boy thing to design

M. S-S: i have hated everything he's done except the drag outfit
it's all....really boring
with a side helping of "looks like it belongs in the macy's junior department"

me: agreed
he's so milquetoast
and literal
like with the "USA" on the team USA challenge
and the "Sky" logo in this one

M. S-S: yeah, exactly
Husband* and i argued to the death over his olympics outfit
He thought it was perfect
and i thought it was way too literal

I think it was what the judges were thinking they would see

M. S-S: well, yeah, it trumped freaking 1940s cocktail dresses
but the actual olympic outfits are closer to what korto and terri did

me: yeah, skorts...
I wore a skort when I was my mom's ring bearer in her wedding to my step-dad
I was a girl in a boy's roll wearing a short/skirt hybrid
not a good call


me: And finally: Suede's

M. S-S: suede does the same silohuette every time

it was so forgettable

M. S-S: dropped waist, short skirt
not as bad as last week's godzilla outfit

me: and ENOUGH with the dead people chit chat


me: I can't believe that no one else has anything of interest to say over the scenes of everyone working
i will not believe it

M. S-S: these people are boring
i miss santino
what happened to andrae??

me: He's at red lobster having a lover's quill with Tim!!
I always get excited to go to the work room to hear fun songs or something
and then I remember: it's THESE people

M. S-S: like last night

me: can you imagine Santino's Drag entry

M. S-S: when keith was crying
husband and i started singing
"lighten up it's just FASHION"


M. S-S
: "it's just fashion, it's just fashion"

me: faaaashion
it's fashion!

*Monrovia does not refer to her husband as Husband - I just didn't want to think up a clever alias.

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