Project Runway: Called It!

Soooo, I had a major choice. Watch the final debate or watch the Project Runway finale real-time. Country or couture? Talk about a quandary. America won out, as I was stuck at work and could only stream the debate. John McCain pissed me off - no surprise there...

And Leanne "Judy Noodles" won Project Runway - no surprise there...

I said it before, but I'm sure it bears repeating: It's all my fault. I liked Korto's collection the best which is always, ALWAYS the kiss of death. Actually, the collection didn't move as well as I thought it would on the runway. But it is most definitely is the most forward and the most innovative collection, and I congratulate her mousy ass. Good job, Leanne!

My darling Korto, your color and final dress rocked my FACE off:

Nina Garcia hit it square on the head that you can dress women of all sizes. This is why I like you, because I could actually wear your clothes and not look horrid. And that GREEN! I could have devowered the screen. Nom, nom, nom!

Aaaaaand Captain Kenley:

Begrudgingly - it's pretty amazing how she was able to hand paint her fabric. But on the runway, it really wasn't holding up as great as it does in these photographs. It's just a leeeettle too two dimensional for me. And while her clothes are fun, I just get so bored because they are just retread. I have seen it before. It just seems like everything I've ever seen in Vogue with some ropes thrown in for good tugboat measure. K-dizzle, it's been swell, but I will not miss having you stomp all over my nerves every Wednesday with your crocodile tears and your alligator shoes (... I don't know, it just sounded right).

Thanks to Project Rungay for the photos. What did YOU think?

Project Runway:

Update:


This was a whirlwind of an episode. Tim visits the designers at home, which is usually a whole episode in of itself. Not this hasty season, though! The designers are given not one, but TWO challenges: make a wedding dress that represents their collection as a whole and then make a last minute b.maid dress.

The Meet the Family and Friends episode is usually my favorite. This time, it was just so blah. Plus, it should be noted that Kenley has no friends to share with the cameras. I'm going to go ahead and generously begrudge that she probably does have friends - but there were none to be seen this time around.

Let's talk turkey. Please note that the photos this week BLOW, so you should really take a look at the Bryant Park collections for further reference:

Jerrell

Topiary Head by Jerrell, He of Terrible Styling

All is right with the world - Jerrell is not in the final three. Let me say that I actually totally love Jerrell now - who saw that coming? He would be a great friend. His designs, though... have not ever been my favorite. There is just too much going on with really poor execution. Out of all six collections that were actually shown at Bryant Park this year, Jerrell's wedding dress was my favorite piece. But for whatever reason, on the P.R. runway, it looked sloppy! That bridesmaid dress was fuuuuug. The fabric was ga-ross.

Kenley:

Toot, toot! All aboard the Lewis Carroll inspiration tugboat!

So, Kenley has been fighting her whole life, you guys. And even though she bothers me to no end and I think that using Alice in Wonderland as your reference is super dooper unimaginative - I loved these two dresses. Of course, these crap photos don't show you the whole of the wedding dress, but you just need to know that it's increadible. If the South Beach Diet continues to work, this will be my dream dress. Even though I'm pretty sure the bubble skirt has walked one too many runways as of late, the bridesmaid dress is totally cute and fun.

Korto

I can haz crap photos, plez?

This could have been the end for my dear Korto. Her wedding dress was SUCH a miss. Even when she was holding it on hanger in the work room, it was just like...'Oh, honey'. Bridesmaid dress wazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. I understand her reservation about not picking a color that made sense with her collection. The craftsmanship is there, it's just not a pretty dress. Honestly, the woman's collection is so much better than these two pieces of crap. I just hope the judges see it. I have to say that she was getting the loser edit so hard this episode, that she might actually stand a chance of winning the whole thing - because we'd all be so surprised!

Leanne:

These photos are an insult.

I almost didn't post the above photos of Leannes looks because they are so terrible. You can't see any of the overall look and they are really worth seeing. Leanne's whole collection is amazing. The additional b.maid look is a perfect fit with the other pieces in the collection. Overall, I really do think that Leanne's collection is the best. It is polished to a T. I'm still rooting for Korto, though - because I love her work (normally!) and could actually wear what she produces.

We shall see at next week's finale!

Project Runway - Live at Pine Grove and Diversey

Fully recognizing that I failed with my post last week and that I am a bum and ditched book club for Project Runway (let alone that I didn't finish the book...)

I am going to do an attempt at "live blogging" from my couch. Let's DO THIS THANG:

Previews from last week's show showing this week's show look soooo good. Tears, tears, TEARS!

Korto has gone after hear dreams... of being my boo. Leanne thinks Kenley is rude and Kenely thinks that it's Leanne fault that she is a one trick pony.

Miss Jerrell... has lost her damn mind. I just hope she doesn't start accessorizing with those damn 'fruit puppets'.

There's no model drama this week. Those ladies must be WELL RESTED. And thus - they had better work. And now it's field trip time!! God, there's only four left. What a wee group.

Botanic Gardens -- I'm a member of the Chicago Botanic Gardens, by the way. Tim Gunn just made a Joan Crawford joke... that fell dead with the group but made this little lady's heart go aflutter. They are going to take inspiration from nature and make a gown. Time to bust out the camera! OOH, those cameras are cool looking. Damn it. This product placement is getting to me.

Leanne is afraid of bees. She's totally that skinny girl on the playground who lost her shit anytime anything flew around her... am I right?! Korto drops in Africa - lest we forget. Gawd, all this floral is freaking tailor made for Kenley. I really like Korto's phallic phlower. It's pretty.

Hello, Mood! Jerell is color blind and Kenley found a print! Goodbye, Mood!

Sketch judgement: Leannes is so pretty and detailed. Jerrell's is ugly and vague.

OH NO! KENLEY WITHOUT TULLE IS LIKE JERRELL WITHOUT A JAUNTY HAT. This cannot BE. How will the how create her retread bullshit without all the puff? HOW?! Actually - I'm totally loving it. Karma's a bitch, bitch.

**Commercial Break**
I wish I could fast forward live TV. I really want to see The Duchess. I love costume drama. Bluefly has cool clothes that I can never bring myself to purchase. Hey! That's my bank! I don't get Grey's Anatomy and therefore don't like Private Practice. Even thought that guy from Wings is on it and he was really hot on Real Time with Bill Maher this past weekend. Alison is so damn cute. Her breathy voice makes me kind of stabby, but I still enjoy her. I hate the song in the Saturn Commercial. I'm going to run to the bathroom.
**

And we're back to Atlas. I wonder what will happen with Kenley Drew and the Case of the Missing Tulle. She looks grumpus. And we're back to Parsons. Kenley's angry at herself. Funny, so is everyone else. OH- but now Tim is going to bail her out. YOU. ARE. SO. LUCKY. POOPLEY.

EEP! Korto's behind. But then again, Leanne has nothing made. Jerrell really shouldn't talk about outfits that look like costumes, as that is what all of his shiz looks lke. That's right. I said it. Collier "pit face" Strong consults... bla de blah. Kenley doesn't know why she's always left out... and we all do. She's off to Mood to reflect on her sad tugboat life.

Toot me a river, Kenley! All aboard for baggage.

Kenley Drew: another case SOLVED!

**Commercial Break**
Stoopid AmEx. I don't want your card just to watch the aftershow. YAY - it's a motherf*ckin' walkoff with Daniel, my boo.
**

Back to Parsons. Korto has a good base - she really works well with Tim's edits. UG. UG. UG. I really hate Kenley's. Jerrell's is dumpy! There is potential... but right now it's dumpus. Leanne's looks very her - I hope she really does 'know what to do'. Tim's proud and I'm nervous. Ut oh. Don't cry Leanne - you've dreamed big! And SPOILER ALERT - I saw your collection at Bryant Park! So you get to go no matter what! Miss Jerrell is crying now! And Korto!

RUN, PEOPLE! DO THIS THING! Way to bring everyone down, Tim, with the whole "Aw, our last runway show!" thing. Wa waaaaa.

GAAAA! Kenley is going to try to tell ME that Leanne's look has "been done". LEANNE'S. Poopley, I have one word for you: Belenciaga. Shut the hell up.

It's runway time!

**Commerical Break**
The answer to the cell phone vote is A. Why? {Kenley's} a pain! It's Nick and Nora's Junobad Development that I will still see.
**

Heidi is wearing a jaunty tuxedo. Did Jerrell style her? Let's meet the judges. OOOOOhhhh, I love Marchesa - I hope she's mean. Korto's color is really pretty. The lace didn't work. Leanne's is veryLeanne but the train is weird. Jerrell's fits really poorly. Kenley's is totally fug.

Let's see what the judges think...

They don't like Leanne's train, either.

Dayam. They don't like Kortos. They think she did too much and didn't do her good editing like she normally do.

Jerrell's is off in an 'interesting way'?? After ripping the guts out of Korto? RRRRR

Kenley = creepy, cliche, defensive.

Now they ask why they should move forward to Fashion Week, eventhoughtheyallwillshowatBryantParkandthensome. Cry, cry, YELL, cry and everyone hates Kenley. Kenley hates everyone and will be sophisticated and has been fighting HER WHOLE TUGBOAT LIFE, you guys.

... and Tee hee. Korto is gonna say what she want... which will totally contradict the fact that she slammed Kenley on the runway, too. Whateves.

**Commerical Break**
Love me some DvF!... COME ON ALREADY! GET BACK TO THE SHOW!
**

And the winner is - Jerrell (LAME)
And the loser is - no one... yet.

Typical. I liked Jerrell's the collection the least, so there.

And I'm Out. Bloop.

Project Runway: It Would Help if You Lost the Sarcasm

So - last night was really a fun episode. I laughed alot and really enjoyed myself - but I will say once again that the damn challenge had too much going on! Just stick with the genre thing OR let them design for each other. These models have never had LESS to do with this show. And - because I know you're wondering - they did the model elimination because there were freaking three to let go. When you get down to four designers and you have 8 to chose from, it's even more of a blood bath. So, that's why that happened. I'm quite sure.

Yes, Kenley sucks. I don't and haven't denied it for a long time now. I will say this - I'm not sure Tim is an authority on Hip Hop. However, he is involved with the industry and has eyes and ears, unlike Ken-dawg over there. In a way, her look from Grease (for Leanne) would almost work if you think of Lil' Mama or Rhianna. That is, if the fit wasn't HORRID, the fabric was different and those insane military gold buttons weren't on them.

And can we all be honest and say that there was no possiblitiy of Kenley going home? ZE.RO.
Leanne even has proportions like a model. I almost threw my homemade pizza (YUM) at the television when Kenely was trying to act like Leanne didn't sell the outfit, which is why the judges weren't responding. PU LEAZE. No, Leanne is not hip-hop, but the outfit is supposed to say something. And all this said was "One Trick Poney Belenciaga Retread". At least it paid off when she say that LL Cool J was in the hizzie. Talk about Oops, I Crapped My Pants. How 'unfair' for the girl... one. single. tear.










I will update a bit late today - work has actually be busting my chops this week!


In the interim, please enjoy this National Geographic interview of Lisa Simpson in honor of the Simpsons 20th (!!) season.

Also, check out the new Entertainment Weekly cover! (And corresponding article)

Project Runway: I Will Say No More

Last night, we had recent college grads getting makeovers to enter "the real world"... with they mamas thrown in for a dash of drama. Unfortunately for the producers, there wasn't a whole lot of drama in this episode. (Frankly, that's fine by me. Show me the Clothes!)

We also confirmed that:
1) We've all had enough Suede
2) Kenley is not a fun bitch like Terri was and continues to grate
3) Jerrell is a silly snake in jaunty hats who continues to shock me with his wins!

Jerrell's young lady has the same body type he does. It's all collar bones and legs:

Mopsy Androginous

The challenge was a full makeover, so they got rid of the skunk blond chunks in her hair and she was much improved. I thought this looks was fine (the details in the cardigan don't show up in this picture - they were cool) but it was a bit muted. The girl loved it, so what do I care? Congrats, Silly Snake.

As a result of the win, Jerrell and his model were photographed for a Tresseme ad in Elle Magazine. And Jerrell, being the styling horror that he is chose this jaunty featherduster muff to wear on his head:

Ugggggh

Hard to tell from this photo, but it's a nightmare. From some angles it looks like feathers, other angles, it looks like leaves. From every angle, it looks like Jerrell's Scarey Hat Emporium.

For the elimination, it was between Joe and Suede. It would be so much less laborious if the judges would have just axed BOTH of them... but sadly, it was only a single elimination.

Workin' 9 to 5

Joe's girl was really cute. She showed up wearing a neon green scarf, slouchy boots and a highwaisted pencil skirt. She wants to be a graphic designer. He basically gave her an interview outfit with a popped collar and a pocket square (literally). I didn't hate it as much as the judges did, but it really wasn't working with her style. Plus, I do loath me some Joe and he was getting the MAJOR loser edit. It was pretty obvi when the client didn't like the pinstripe and he was like "I'll talk her into it" and how much he was talking about his family... that spells doom.

I have to say that Suedes was much, much worse:

Neyt, Dahling

So, these photos SUCK. This girl was beautiful (and Russian). Her hair looked horrid, so the Treseme team did wonderfully - but the rest of the outfit, yipes. The jacket had bell sleeves and ribbon detailing... in purple. Ug city. The print could have gone either way and the dress looked really nice on the girl (again, because she was pretty) but what a horrible thing to do to such a nice young lady. He talked her out of pants because he doesn't "do" them (read: can't make them) and put her out there looking like Selena - great line, Leanne!

Speaking of Leanne:

School marm

She was in the bottom but only for one hot minute. When you saw her on the runway with Suede and Joe... you could say the words with Heidi "Leanne, you're safe". I really didn't like the jacket - I'm not a fan of puffy buttons. At. All. The dress, though, which you can't see in this CRAP PICTURE was pretty cute. Much better suited to this girl who is an El Ed major - which is why she reminded me of half the girls I knew at Miami. Nothing about the outfit says 'teacher' to me, but then again, neither did the animal print that the mother wanted!

Kenley pulled out some more Belegncia one-note stuff:

KenleyKlone 2.0

Talk about luck of the draw. Kenley got herself for this challenge, or at least you would think so based on the outfit for this gal. She's a fashion buyer and showed up in all vintage clothing. As a woman of size, I have to say that the tulle skirt is not flattering when one is not a model. It made her look much wider than she actually is and that's no good! The really annoyance for me was when she and Kenley started laughing on the runway in the EXACT SAME MANNOR. Ug, I know she'll be in the final three, but I just find it all tiresome.

I will now deliver the kiss of death: Korto is my favorite designer. Sadly, this means that she will not win, but I'm a huge fan of her work AND the collection she showed at bryant park.
Love the dress. I was concerned about the jacket, but since there were so many other insanely ugly jackets on the runway, she came out smelling like roses. Korto doesn't have the personality for P.R. - she seems pretty introverted and mumbly, but I love her anyway. She seems to be really mellow and supportive of the other designers while still really thinking about her designs and being super awesome. Korto, I love you and want to you to dress me everyday.

Final thought, I LOVED Heidi's dress at the elimination. I was drooling over it, even if it is a bit Rami-Santino -esque. Love, love, love. I'll try to find a picture to update

Hopefully things at Our Nation's Capitol will slow down enough for M.S-S. to come back soon! If you haven't seen all the collections, go to Project Rungay and take a peek. Everyone shows, so I feel like there is much less tension for the remaining designers. It kind of ruins the show for me, but whateves... at least the challenges don't totally suck anymore.

Project Runway: Count my tears as they fall to the floor

HOkay, so. I can't find Monroiva to talk to her about P.R. last night, so it's another edition of Laura's Opinions(TM).

Let me just start with: DANNY V. IS BACK! Sadly, he didn't have much to say, except something about seven trims or what not... but I missed him so!

Two super-horrid photos from the Bravo website of DANIEL being BACK!

Daniel, I love you. Ok, enough of that. This episode had a ton going on. Astrology. Auf'd Designers. Former contestants cum judges. Avant Garde. Fabric Pooping. It was almost too much to take in! I'll just start with the obvious.

We all totally noticed the major Loser edit that Terri was getting. And Keith and Terri pairing up again is the WORST. Like, it was hurting my heart to watch it. I know Terri is a total bitchy mean-face, but I loved her style. I guess if I had to really look deep down in my heart, I couldn't really see her at Bryant Park because she was always in the middle with the judges. But I shall miss her anyway. I loved the role she assigned Keif: "Count the pins that fall on the floor". Buuuurn! But I won't miss THAT THING that she made:

As a Leo, I am personally offended. That gold shiz the skirt was made out of? I swear I had a teddy bear who had that material as a shirt... itchy and un-cuddly at best. This does not say "RAWR" to me... it make me say "Grrrr".

Blayne - you were clearly never going to Bryant Park, but I actually really liked your sketch for the outfit. The execution was outrageous and horrid, but I actually was digging the vision. Can't say I'll miss you, but you did finally attain a flesh tone of a non-Oompa Loompa, so good for you.

Does fabric poop smell like Fabreze?

Jerrell wins it! I still wish the judges would have talked about the winning pieces anyway. Oh well. Jerrell's was fine, but, AGAIN, an arrow through the hair styling is really not doing it for me. Why so literal when the garment is so figurative? Anyway, keep hanging on Jerrell - at least you are interesting me with your work.

This poor model!

I am loathed to say this, but I was digging Joe's. The skirt moved like a dream on the runway and I really loved it. The bodice was very... Joe-y. Flat and weirdly fitted and decidedly not feminine.

But the skirt can call me. That model worked it out. I couldn't help but wonder in the Museum's weird lighting if that effected the judging at all. This color pallet isn't the greatest, but under those weird red and green lights, I bet it looked exciting. Just a theory.

Leanne aka Judy Noodles! (the best nickname ever) really did a great job. It wasn't as dramatic as I like the Avant Gard challenges to be, but I loved the exoskeleton idea and how it had a really ugly-pretty-danger vibe going on. Leanne is really consistent and has figured out this show, which is a relief when so many designers (I'm looking at you, Keif) just can't seem to understand what the show is looking for.

Zzzzzzz Suede and Korto zzzzzzzzzzz

Suede's is clearly old lady lingerie and much worse than Kortos, where you can still see her asthetic and P.o.V. However, Koroto's was just aight for me, dawg and didn't rock my face off like the von Awesomeburg challenge did. Koroto's not in danger or anything, but she needs to pull it out so that she can win. Because she really needs to.

And finally Kenley. Miss Kenley is really going to benefit from the South Beach Diet energy crash that always hits me around this time each day. I'll just leave it at this:

I. Don't. Like. You. Any. More. I mean, I still like your style and whatnot, but your aesthetic is TOTALLY Beleciaga and you MUST look at other designers collections at some point. I refuse to believe you have no earthly idea as to what others in the game are up to. How are you supposed to grow your brand and your vision? Your brain must be as vacuous as those whacked out sleeves. This is "out there" but not far enough to be fashionable. Just to be silly. Which is what you are with your little Betty Paige hair with dainty flour. SILLY SNAKE!

Remember in Disney's Cinderella when the mice and birds take the ugly, puffy dress and make it a ball gown? This is that pre-ballgown dress.

Project Runway: American Express THIS

Alright - so I have a breakfast meeting today and will not be able to dish with the lovely Monrovia Staples-Soliloquy, as she has a big-time job and must watch Congress do they thing, as it were.

Therefore, you just get my thoughts as of 6:30 a.m. today. LUCKY YOU!

I need to start by saying that last night's show had all the elements that I love in Project Runway. There are fewer designers, which means that more of episode is actually dedicated to talking about the fashions rather than the stupid shit going down with the other designers. Not only did we get to hear some really smart tips from everybody's favorite Tim Gunn, but the challenge was great. I, for one, love me some Diane von Furstenburg.

Daaaahling!

I especially love her FABRICS! Talk about print- Uli would have shisse-ed herself had this challenge been during her season. But, alas, the less talented - more boring designers got to run amok in DvF's sample room (can you IMAGINE!?!? Those lucky bastards!). Aaaaand this is what they made:

To echo a sentiment I am sure I will see on Project Rungay later today - there was a lot of ass on that runway this week. And (another sign of a good episode) I totally disagreed with the judges.

Once again, it's Leanne, the silent fashion assassin For the Win!

Yup. Sure is alot of 'design' in there...

I mean... I get it. It's not horrid and it clearly did take alot of work. I have nothing against Leanne and I think she's a good designer - I just felt like this was... expected. The coat boarders on sloppy and I'm not really seeing "spy" in the Marlene Dietrich sense. I see it more in the Grace Kelly vein.

What I freaking L.O.V.E.D. was Kortos:

Y'ello GORGEOUS!

That print!!! I LOVED that print and it couldn't fit better with Korto's point of view. I thought this was so well thought out and alex loved the jacket (agreed!). Ok, maybe I'll grant you that it's not 100% bisexual-Berliner-suspected-spy-fleeing-to-New York-via-Shanghai, but I really do see some of that in here, particularly in the cut of the jacket and the detailing. This was my winner and I really think Korto needs it. She is SUCH a sad sack on the runway.


Speaking of literal:

Blah, blah, blah

Kenley's. Is it well made? You bet. Was it bold to go with one piece when everyone else was doing three? Meh, the judges seemed to think so. Is this print/ outfit worth getting so worked up about? NO. She was lucky Diane liked her piss poor attitude and bitchiness to Heidi. If only Keith could have been confrontational yet bubbly and charming!




Alright - all together now.

BLECK!

I'm going to say this and then faint from shock, but I really don't think Stella deserved to go home on this one. LOOK at that HEINOUS crap up there! On the left, we have Suede's ill-fit, poorly executed, muddy color story blah fest. At least he can't blame any of his dead consorts on this one... something tells me this is all Suede, baby.

In the center, we have JOE. If the model had a special shoe that made one leg 1 inch higher than the other, this would have been PERFECT on the fit. Plus, this is not von Furstenburg. This is a spandex nightmare.

An on the right... Jerell? Let's be real with each other. That hat did not come from the Bluefly.com accessory wall, did it? It's from your suitcase next to all your other little garments and trinkets that you use to fashion yourself into a Indonesian pool boy on the runway each week. I hate repeating myself, but you really cannot style your mannequins.

Here's my honest assessment of Stella:

Stellaaaaaa!

Was she going to Bryant Park? No! Was this the outfit she should have gone home for? I really don't think so. I thought it was an interesting spin. I could see the story. Again, I refer you to the three above examples and ask you what makes this so much more offensive?! Honestly, the fit wasn't great but i thought the top was executed well and the look made sense for the challenge. Clearly DvF had tons of issues with it, but I must say that Joe's missed the mark way more than this. I'll miss Stella. I hope she and Ratbones will be very happy.


In closing:

Terri and Blayne: nice coats.

Terri, you're the HBIC and I love you. I think your looks are classy and walk the runway nicely. But let's go for a win and push through a little bit. I KNOW you can do it.

Blayne, please don't make Aladdin capri's happen. PLEASE! But thank you for not making them out of Lycra, I guess...

I must run, but can I just say that all of the AmEx sponsorship is chapping my ass. I can't see the after-show special nor can I buy Leanne's winning design (like I would) because I don't care to have a credit card that isn't accepted most places I go! BOO!