Thursday, September 11, 2008

Project Runway: Count my tears as they fall to the floor

HOkay, so. I can't find Monroiva to talk to her about P.R. last night, so it's another edition of Laura's Opinions(TM).

Let me just start with: DANNY V. IS BACK! Sadly, he didn't have much to say, except something about seven trims or what not... but I missed him so!

Two super-horrid photos from the Bravo website of DANIEL being BACK!

Daniel, I love you. Ok, enough of that. This episode had a ton going on. Astrology. Auf'd Designers. Former contestants cum judges. Avant Garde. Fabric Pooping. It was almost too much to take in! I'll just start with the obvious.

We all totally noticed the major Loser edit that Terri was getting. And Keith and Terri pairing up again is the WORST. Like, it was hurting my heart to watch it. I know Terri is a total bitchy mean-face, but I loved her style. I guess if I had to really look deep down in my heart, I couldn't really see her at Bryant Park because she was always in the middle with the judges. But I shall miss her anyway. I loved the role she assigned Keif: "Count the pins that fall on the floor". Buuuurn! But I won't miss THAT THING that she made:

As a Leo, I am personally offended. That gold shiz the skirt was made out of? I swear I had a teddy bear who had that material as a shirt... itchy and un-cuddly at best. This does not say "RAWR" to me... it make me say "Grrrr".

Blayne - you were clearly never going to Bryant Park, but I actually really liked your sketch for the outfit. The execution was outrageous and horrid, but I actually was digging the vision. Can't say I'll miss you, but you did finally attain a flesh tone of a non-Oompa Loompa, so good for you.

Does fabric poop smell like Fabreze?

Jerrell wins it! I still wish the judges would have talked about the winning pieces anyway. Oh well. Jerrell's was fine, but, AGAIN, an arrow through the hair styling is really not doing it for me. Why so literal when the garment is so figurative? Anyway, keep hanging on Jerrell - at least you are interesting me with your work.

This poor model!

I am loathed to say this, but I was digging Joe's. The skirt moved like a dream on the runway and I really loved it. The bodice was very... Joe-y. Flat and weirdly fitted and decidedly not feminine.

But the skirt can call me. That model worked it out. I couldn't help but wonder in the Museum's weird lighting if that effected the judging at all. This color pallet isn't the greatest, but under those weird red and green lights, I bet it looked exciting. Just a theory.

Leanne aka Judy Noodles! (the best nickname ever) really did a great job. It wasn't as dramatic as I like the Avant Gard challenges to be, but I loved the exoskeleton idea and how it had a really ugly-pretty-danger vibe going on. Leanne is really consistent and has figured out this show, which is a relief when so many designers (I'm looking at you, Keif) just can't seem to understand what the show is looking for.

Zzzzzzz Suede and Korto zzzzzzzzzzz

Suede's is clearly old lady lingerie and much worse than Kortos, where you can still see her asthetic and P.o.V. However, Koroto's was just aight for me, dawg and didn't rock my face off like the von Awesomeburg challenge did. Koroto's not in danger or anything, but she needs to pull it out so that she can win. Because she really needs to.

And finally Kenley. Miss Kenley is really going to benefit from the South Beach Diet energy crash that always hits me around this time each day. I'll just leave it at this:

I. Don't. Like. You. Any. More. I mean, I still like your style and whatnot, but your aesthetic is TOTALLY Beleciaga and you MUST look at other designers collections at some point. I refuse to believe you have no earthly idea as to what others in the game are up to. How are you supposed to grow your brand and your vision? Your brain must be as vacuous as those whacked out sleeves. This is "out there" but not far enough to be fashionable. Just to be silly. Which is what you are with your little Betty Paige hair with dainty flour. SILLY SNAKE!

Remember in Disney's Cinderella when the mice and birds take the ugly, puffy dress and make it a ball gown? This is that pre-ballgown dress.

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