Project Runway - Live at Pine Grove and Diversey

Fully recognizing that I failed with my post last week and that I am a bum and ditched book club for Project Runway (let alone that I didn't finish the book...)

I am going to do an attempt at "live blogging" from my couch. Let's DO THIS THANG:

Previews from last week's show showing this week's show look soooo good. Tears, tears, TEARS!

Korto has gone after hear dreams... of being my boo. Leanne thinks Kenley is rude and Kenely thinks that it's Leanne fault that she is a one trick pony.

Miss Jerrell... has lost her damn mind. I just hope she doesn't start accessorizing with those damn 'fruit puppets'.

There's no model drama this week. Those ladies must be WELL RESTED. And thus - they had better work. And now it's field trip time!! God, there's only four left. What a wee group.

Botanic Gardens -- I'm a member of the Chicago Botanic Gardens, by the way. Tim Gunn just made a Joan Crawford joke... that fell dead with the group but made this little lady's heart go aflutter. They are going to take inspiration from nature and make a gown. Time to bust out the camera! OOH, those cameras are cool looking. Damn it. This product placement is getting to me.

Leanne is afraid of bees. She's totally that skinny girl on the playground who lost her shit anytime anything flew around her... am I right?! Korto drops in Africa - lest we forget. Gawd, all this floral is freaking tailor made for Kenley. I really like Korto's phallic phlower. It's pretty.

Hello, Mood! Jerell is color blind and Kenley found a print! Goodbye, Mood!

Sketch judgement: Leannes is so pretty and detailed. Jerrell's is ugly and vague.

OH NO! KENLEY WITHOUT TULLE IS LIKE JERRELL WITHOUT A JAUNTY HAT. This cannot BE. How will the how create her retread bullshit without all the puff? HOW?! Actually - I'm totally loving it. Karma's a bitch, bitch.

**Commercial Break**
I wish I could fast forward live TV. I really want to see The Duchess. I love costume drama. Bluefly has cool clothes that I can never bring myself to purchase. Hey! That's my bank! I don't get Grey's Anatomy and therefore don't like Private Practice. Even thought that guy from Wings is on it and he was really hot on Real Time with Bill Maher this past weekend. Alison is so damn cute. Her breathy voice makes me kind of stabby, but I still enjoy her. I hate the song in the Saturn Commercial. I'm going to run to the bathroom.
**

And we're back to Atlas. I wonder what will happen with Kenley Drew and the Case of the Missing Tulle. She looks grumpus. And we're back to Parsons. Kenley's angry at herself. Funny, so is everyone else. OH- but now Tim is going to bail her out. YOU. ARE. SO. LUCKY. POOPLEY.

EEP! Korto's behind. But then again, Leanne has nothing made. Jerrell really shouldn't talk about outfits that look like costumes, as that is what all of his shiz looks lke. That's right. I said it. Collier "pit face" Strong consults... bla de blah. Kenley doesn't know why she's always left out... and we all do. She's off to Mood to reflect on her sad tugboat life.

Toot me a river, Kenley! All aboard for baggage.

Kenley Drew: another case SOLVED!

**Commercial Break**
Stoopid AmEx. I don't want your card just to watch the aftershow. YAY - it's a motherf*ckin' walkoff with Daniel, my boo.
**

Back to Parsons. Korto has a good base - she really works well with Tim's edits. UG. UG. UG. I really hate Kenley's. Jerrell's is dumpy! There is potential... but right now it's dumpus. Leanne's looks very her - I hope she really does 'know what to do'. Tim's proud and I'm nervous. Ut oh. Don't cry Leanne - you've dreamed big! And SPOILER ALERT - I saw your collection at Bryant Park! So you get to go no matter what! Miss Jerrell is crying now! And Korto!

RUN, PEOPLE! DO THIS THING! Way to bring everyone down, Tim, with the whole "Aw, our last runway show!" thing. Wa waaaaa.

GAAAA! Kenley is going to try to tell ME that Leanne's look has "been done". LEANNE'S. Poopley, I have one word for you: Belenciaga. Shut the hell up.

It's runway time!

**Commerical Break**
The answer to the cell phone vote is A. Why? {Kenley's} a pain! It's Nick and Nora's Junobad Development that I will still see.
**

Heidi is wearing a jaunty tuxedo. Did Jerrell style her? Let's meet the judges. OOOOOhhhh, I love Marchesa - I hope she's mean. Korto's color is really pretty. The lace didn't work. Leanne's is veryLeanne but the train is weird. Jerrell's fits really poorly. Kenley's is totally fug.

Let's see what the judges think...

They don't like Leanne's train, either.

Dayam. They don't like Kortos. They think she did too much and didn't do her good editing like she normally do.

Jerrell's is off in an 'interesting way'?? After ripping the guts out of Korto? RRRRR

Kenley = creepy, cliche, defensive.

Now they ask why they should move forward to Fashion Week, eventhoughtheyallwillshowatBryantParkandthensome. Cry, cry, YELL, cry and everyone hates Kenley. Kenley hates everyone and will be sophisticated and has been fighting HER WHOLE TUGBOAT LIFE, you guys.

... and Tee hee. Korto is gonna say what she want... which will totally contradict the fact that she slammed Kenley on the runway, too. Whateves.

**Commerical Break**
Love me some DvF!... COME ON ALREADY! GET BACK TO THE SHOW!
**

And the winner is - Jerrell (LAME)
And the loser is - no one... yet.

Typical. I liked Jerrell's the collection the least, so there.

And I'm Out. Bloop.