Project Runway: It Would Help if You Lost the Sarcasm

So - last night was really a fun episode. I laughed alot and really enjoyed myself - but I will say once again that the damn challenge had too much going on! Just stick with the genre thing OR let them design for each other. These models have never had LESS to do with this show. And - because I know you're wondering - they did the model elimination because there were freaking three to let go. When you get down to four designers and you have 8 to chose from, it's even more of a blood bath. So, that's why that happened. I'm quite sure.

Yes, Kenley sucks. I don't and haven't denied it for a long time now. I will say this - I'm not sure Tim is an authority on Hip Hop. However, he is involved with the industry and has eyes and ears, unlike Ken-dawg over there. In a way, her look from Grease (for Leanne) would almost work if you think of Lil' Mama or Rhianna. That is, if the fit wasn't HORRID, the fabric was different and those insane military gold buttons weren't on them.

And can we all be honest and say that there was no possiblitiy of Kenley going home? ZE.RO.
Leanne even has proportions like a model. I almost threw my homemade pizza (YUM) at the television when Kenely was trying to act like Leanne didn't sell the outfit, which is why the judges weren't responding. PU LEAZE. No, Leanne is not hip-hop, but the outfit is supposed to say something. And all this said was "One Trick Poney Belenciaga Retread". At least it paid off when she say that LL Cool J was in the hizzie. Talk about Oops, I Crapped My Pants. How 'unfair' for the girl... one. single. tear.










I will update a bit late today - work has actually be busting my chops this week!


In the interim, please enjoy this National Geographic interview of Lisa Simpson in honor of the Simpsons 20th (!!) season.

Also, check out the new Entertainment Weekly cover! (And corresponding article)

Snappy Chappies

I am feeling better. I am ten pounds lighter, I'm eating carbs again and I never realized how delicious fruit really can be.

That being said, It's really hard for me to get extremely worked up and blog about stuff, so I'm going to give you stuff to read and look at today. Sound fair? Good. Deal with it.


I'm as sick of the 'sexist' talk as the next gal, but this was interesting. I do hope they "Free Sarah Palin" so that she falls on her face. Ja? Ja.

Bill Clinton on the Daily Show trying to answer for his 'lack of enthusiasm' when it comes to Barack.




Whatever, Chris Rock is still funnier.


And now it's the New York Times' fault that Rick Davis is shady. What a liberal rag they are with their freaking "questions" and "facts".

Then, there's this!(From Best Week Ever)

Thinking too much?

Well, I know that's defo not a problem for at least 51% of American women - but for the rest of you, let's look at pictures and watch movies!

I 99.9% love this video

Oh, Keif. You my boy.

Misc.

I'm pretty scattered today because Alex and I are on total opposite schedules now and are busy attempting to continue some sort of relationship. I'm not complaining, it's just exhausting.

Anyone read this today in the New York Times?

I quote:

"At the insistence of the McCain campaign, the Oct. 2 debate between the Republican nominee for vice president, Gov. Sarah Palin, and her Democratic rival, Senator Joseph R. Biden Jr., will have shorter question-and-answer segments than those for the presidential nominees, the advisers said. There will also be much less opportunity for free-wheeling, direct exchanges between the running mates.

McCain advisers said they had been concerned that a loose format could leave Ms. Palin, a relatively inexperienced debater, at a disadvantage and largely on the defensive."

OUTRAGEOUS! We're going to have a softball debate now because Palin will have to be on the defense?! WHY?

Feeling Bear-ish

So, I'll admit it. I have little to no understanding of economics and finance. I am the girl that can't bring herself to open her statements from her deceased father and great-grandmother's assets because I don't understand what I'm looking at and it makes me feel like a five-year old lost at the mall. How can someone with a degree actually be this stupid?

So, there's no time like a terrifying economic collapse to try to educate one's self about what the hell is happening and what might happen as we trudge forward. I'm starting with NPR's Planet Money, which was an offshoot of a This American Life episode about the credit crisis. It deals very plainly with up to date interesting info about the current craziness and finance in general.
HIGHLY Recommended.

I came across this highly interesting article from Harvard economist Jeff Frankel dealing with the fuzziest of statistics that try to reconfigure that fact that the economy does better under Democratic presidents that it does under Republican presidents. It's called: What Does it Take to Define Away the Statistics Showing Economic Performance Under Democratic Presidents Superior to That Under Republicans?

Click the money shirt to read it!

As I am an independent (you might find that surprising, since I'm so Obamaed up), I'm not like YES! DEMZ RULE!!1!!. I just find it interesting that the most successful presidents and the least successful in terms of the economy have acted against the basic platform of their party. Very, very interesting stuff and I like his argument.

Project Runway: I Will Say No More

Last night, we had recent college grads getting makeovers to enter "the real world"... with they mamas thrown in for a dash of drama. Unfortunately for the producers, there wasn't a whole lot of drama in this episode. (Frankly, that's fine by me. Show me the Clothes!)

We also confirmed that:
1) We've all had enough Suede
2) Kenley is not a fun bitch like Terri was and continues to grate
3) Jerrell is a silly snake in jaunty hats who continues to shock me with his wins!

Jerrell's young lady has the same body type he does. It's all collar bones and legs:

Mopsy Androginous

The challenge was a full makeover, so they got rid of the skunk blond chunks in her hair and she was much improved. I thought this looks was fine (the details in the cardigan don't show up in this picture - they were cool) but it was a bit muted. The girl loved it, so what do I care? Congrats, Silly Snake.

As a result of the win, Jerrell and his model were photographed for a Tresseme ad in Elle Magazine. And Jerrell, being the styling horror that he is chose this jaunty featherduster muff to wear on his head:

Ugggggh

Hard to tell from this photo, but it's a nightmare. From some angles it looks like feathers, other angles, it looks like leaves. From every angle, it looks like Jerrell's Scarey Hat Emporium.

For the elimination, it was between Joe and Suede. It would be so much less laborious if the judges would have just axed BOTH of them... but sadly, it was only a single elimination.

Workin' 9 to 5

Joe's girl was really cute. She showed up wearing a neon green scarf, slouchy boots and a highwaisted pencil skirt. She wants to be a graphic designer. He basically gave her an interview outfit with a popped collar and a pocket square (literally). I didn't hate it as much as the judges did, but it really wasn't working with her style. Plus, I do loath me some Joe and he was getting the MAJOR loser edit. It was pretty obvi when the client didn't like the pinstripe and he was like "I'll talk her into it" and how much he was talking about his family... that spells doom.

I have to say that Suedes was much, much worse:

Neyt, Dahling

So, these photos SUCK. This girl was beautiful (and Russian). Her hair looked horrid, so the Treseme team did wonderfully - but the rest of the outfit, yipes. The jacket had bell sleeves and ribbon detailing... in purple. Ug city. The print could have gone either way and the dress looked really nice on the girl (again, because she was pretty) but what a horrible thing to do to such a nice young lady. He talked her out of pants because he doesn't "do" them (read: can't make them) and put her out there looking like Selena - great line, Leanne!

Speaking of Leanne:

School marm

She was in the bottom but only for one hot minute. When you saw her on the runway with Suede and Joe... you could say the words with Heidi "Leanne, you're safe". I really didn't like the jacket - I'm not a fan of puffy buttons. At. All. The dress, though, which you can't see in this CRAP PICTURE was pretty cute. Much better suited to this girl who is an El Ed major - which is why she reminded me of half the girls I knew at Miami. Nothing about the outfit says 'teacher' to me, but then again, neither did the animal print that the mother wanted!

Kenley pulled out some more Belegncia one-note stuff:

KenleyKlone 2.0

Talk about luck of the draw. Kenley got herself for this challenge, or at least you would think so based on the outfit for this gal. She's a fashion buyer and showed up in all vintage clothing. As a woman of size, I have to say that the tulle skirt is not flattering when one is not a model. It made her look much wider than she actually is and that's no good! The really annoyance for me was when she and Kenley started laughing on the runway in the EXACT SAME MANNOR. Ug, I know she'll be in the final three, but I just find it all tiresome.

I will now deliver the kiss of death: Korto is my favorite designer. Sadly, this means that she will not win, but I'm a huge fan of her work AND the collection she showed at bryant park.
Love the dress. I was concerned about the jacket, but since there were so many other insanely ugly jackets on the runway, she came out smelling like roses. Korto doesn't have the personality for P.R. - she seems pretty introverted and mumbly, but I love her anyway. She seems to be really mellow and supportive of the other designers while still really thinking about her designs and being super awesome. Korto, I love you and want to you to dress me everyday.

Final thought, I LOVED Heidi's dress at the elimination. I was drooling over it, even if it is a bit Rami-Santino -esque. Love, love, love. I'll try to find a picture to update

Hopefully things at Our Nation's Capitol will slow down enough for M.S-S. to come back soon! If you haven't seen all the collections, go to Project Rungay and take a peek. Everyone shows, so I feel like there is much less tension for the remaining designers. It kind of ruins the show for me, but whateves... at least the challenges don't totally suck anymore.

Errors

My work e-mail has been riddled with errors all week and I'm spending the day importing every e-mail I've ever received since beginning my job in January. Let me just tell you, there are thousands! Can you imagine if this was just thirty years ago... that would be have been countless phone calls and paperwork all with little documentation. What an amazing world it is sometimes...

You know what else is amazing? Carly Fiorina is going to 'disappear'.


Carly is the former (terrible) CEO of HP and is now a top official in the McCain campaign. She was on the record yesterday saying that neither Palin or McCain could 'run a business'. She went on to say that neither Obama or Biden could, either, but the damage is done. The byte is out there and is a tough blow to a party who argues that this country can be run 'like a business!' and puts such high regard on executive experience.

I'm not one to get outraged over perceived slights in commercials. It's really a waste of time. I get the humor that was supposed to come from the new McDonald's coffee commercials and I think the "two guys" really has the tone they were going for:


But the "two women" kind of portrays the average American woman as... well... sick and tired of pretending to be 'with it'.


In the end, it's fast food and not a senior doctoral thesis. But this segment from NPR does have some food for thought. What do YOU think, two readers?

Not that I'm better than you...

But I just made a donation to the American Red Cross of Greater Chicagoland - and you should, too!

From Chicagoist:

For once, Gov. Blagojevich seems to be doing his part. While visiting a Des Plaines shelter for flood victims, he declared seven counties disaster areas: Cook, DuPage, DeKalb, Grundy, Kane, LaSalle and Will. Blagojevich also took to the air to survey the damage. His declaration "allows the state to supply assets and emergency workers to areas affected by the flooding, and also opens up the opportunity for the state to ask for federal disaster assistance."


I'm sure you'll get to it when you and Richard Daley stop bickering like schoolboys, but the Red Cross has been there from the start providing shelter and supplies - so help 'em out today.

Donate Now, yo! (Barack Obama would approve this message)

Old news..

But HILARIOUS news, none the less.
Item 1:



Uh, nailed it much?

Item 2:
CONGRATULATIONS, ALEX! My boyfriend is now, once again, employed. He's checking ID's at Jack's on Southport. Swing by and say 'hi' any time between 4:00 p.m. and 3:00 a.m.! Good thing we moved in together in order to... never... see each other ... again? HEY! MONEY! YESSSSSSS!

Item 3:
Anyone watch the Coco Chanel movie on Lifetime? I will grant you that it was lame, but it was Lifetime at it's best. You have to admit, it was perfect for this crappy weather we've been having!

Oui, Lifetime!

Item 5:
Weight loss updates: alex - 5lbs. & Laura - 4.5lbs
Cheats: Alex had a bite of an oatmeal cookie!! And yet... he still has lost more than I.

I have ten dollars that alex ditches the diet now that he's on the night shift. Ten. Dollars.

a diagram

click image for a larger version

(Mom- scroll down for the apartment news)

YES!

Did anyone see Barack on Letterman being classy and awesome as per usual? (see clip below for a refresher)



Well, Popular Mechanics is offering him the layout. I love having humor during these tense times. Thank you, Pop Mech!

an open letter to the management company

To Whom It May Concern:

During the three previous months of leasing an apartment in your building at 2756 N. Pine Grove, we have been very impressed with Planned Property's efforts to communicate scheduled building maintenance clearly ahead of time. Unfortunately, on Thursday September 11th, we returned home to find our apartment covered in blanket layer of what appeared to be sand. We have gotten in the habit of leaving our windows open throughout the daytime in order to facilitate cooling and air circulation in our unit, and as a result, our unit seems to have been exposed to the byproducts of whatever building maintenance was being performed yesterday. While we are not seeking any sort of reimbursement or recompense, we would have appreciated an advance warning alerting us to the scheduled maintenance so that we might have taken the necessary steps to avoid this mess. We have attached a couple of photos so that you may get an idea of what we came home to. Thank you very much for your time and consideration. We appreciate your attention on this matter.

maybe if i get my act together, i might just become a lawyer someday.

Dear City of Chicago Planned Property Management,

SCREW YOU, TOO!

Yesterday was a nice late summer day and I had my windows open. No harm in that, right? Oh, no... unless the City of Chicago is lining the sewers management company has some guy sawing into the brick of the building. Even though I'm 8 stories up, I came home to this:

Out of context, this may look fine, but this TV stand... WAS BROWN WHEN I LEFT! Seriously - my house looks like a haunted house sans cobwebs. And the worst part is - it's not just dust, it's sand! And when you walk by it, it's thrown up in the air. And when you turn on the AC, it's thrown directly in your face. And when you get the sand sucked up, it's all over you and there is still dust everywhere.

Thank god it's only my kitchen and sitting room, but what a total pain in the butt. One super-fun weekend, coming up!

dearest laura,

while i am somewhat frustrated to hear that you are f*cking matt damon, i feel that it is incumbent upon me to be completely forthright with you. i've been f*cking matt damon for years. maybe we should work out some sort of alternating day schedule.

what's making me laugh today

love,
alex

Coming to a White House Near You

Thanks Best Week Ever.

Also, I need to come clean and let everyone know. I'm f*cking Matt Damon:
Sorry, alex. Can we still be friends?

Project Runway: Count my tears as they fall to the floor

HOkay, so. I can't find Monroiva to talk to her about P.R. last night, so it's another edition of Laura's Opinions(TM).

Let me just start with: DANNY V. IS BACK! Sadly, he didn't have much to say, except something about seven trims or what not... but I missed him so!

Two super-horrid photos from the Bravo website of DANIEL being BACK!

Daniel, I love you. Ok, enough of that. This episode had a ton going on. Astrology. Auf'd Designers. Former contestants cum judges. Avant Garde. Fabric Pooping. It was almost too much to take in! I'll just start with the obvious.

We all totally noticed the major Loser edit that Terri was getting. And Keith and Terri pairing up again is the WORST. Like, it was hurting my heart to watch it. I know Terri is a total bitchy mean-face, but I loved her style. I guess if I had to really look deep down in my heart, I couldn't really see her at Bryant Park because she was always in the middle with the judges. But I shall miss her anyway. I loved the role she assigned Keif: "Count the pins that fall on the floor". Buuuurn! But I won't miss THAT THING that she made:

As a Leo, I am personally offended. That gold shiz the skirt was made out of? I swear I had a teddy bear who had that material as a shirt... itchy and un-cuddly at best. This does not say "RAWR" to me... it make me say "Grrrr".

Blayne - you were clearly never going to Bryant Park, but I actually really liked your sketch for the outfit. The execution was outrageous and horrid, but I actually was digging the vision. Can't say I'll miss you, but you did finally attain a flesh tone of a non-Oompa Loompa, so good for you.

Does fabric poop smell like Fabreze?

Jerrell wins it! I still wish the judges would have talked about the winning pieces anyway. Oh well. Jerrell's was fine, but, AGAIN, an arrow through the hair styling is really not doing it for me. Why so literal when the garment is so figurative? Anyway, keep hanging on Jerrell - at least you are interesting me with your work.

This poor model!

I am loathed to say this, but I was digging Joe's. The skirt moved like a dream on the runway and I really loved it. The bodice was very... Joe-y. Flat and weirdly fitted and decidedly not feminine.

But the skirt can call me. That model worked it out. I couldn't help but wonder in the Museum's weird lighting if that effected the judging at all. This color pallet isn't the greatest, but under those weird red and green lights, I bet it looked exciting. Just a theory.

Leanne aka Judy Noodles! (the best nickname ever) really did a great job. It wasn't as dramatic as I like the Avant Gard challenges to be, but I loved the exoskeleton idea and how it had a really ugly-pretty-danger vibe going on. Leanne is really consistent and has figured out this show, which is a relief when so many designers (I'm looking at you, Keif) just can't seem to understand what the show is looking for.

Zzzzzzz Suede and Korto zzzzzzzzzzz

Suede's is clearly old lady lingerie and much worse than Kortos, where you can still see her asthetic and P.o.V. However, Koroto's was just aight for me, dawg and didn't rock my face off like the von Awesomeburg challenge did. Koroto's not in danger or anything, but she needs to pull it out so that she can win. Because she really needs to.

And finally Kenley. Miss Kenley is really going to benefit from the South Beach Diet energy crash that always hits me around this time each day. I'll just leave it at this:

I. Don't. Like. You. Any. More. I mean, I still like your style and whatnot, but your aesthetic is TOTALLY Beleciaga and you MUST look at other designers collections at some point. I refuse to believe you have no earthly idea as to what others in the game are up to. How are you supposed to grow your brand and your vision? Your brain must be as vacuous as those whacked out sleeves. This is "out there" but not far enough to be fashionable. Just to be silly. Which is what you are with your little Betty Paige hair with dainty flour. SILLY SNAKE!

Remember in Disney's Cinderella when the mice and birds take the ugly, puffy dress and make it a ball gown? This is that pre-ballgown dress.

Dark Days

Maybe it's the desire for cupcakes, or maybe I woke up and heard that the world was going to end this morning but I'm getting a really bad feeling about the election. Adam McKay has written a scary-but-true piece for Huffington Post "We're Going to Frickin' Lose This Thing" .

And I have no response! It's my worst nightmare, but it's definitely coming true with the seemingly-bullet proof Palin as the REAL Presidential nominee for the Repubs. I feel the darkness surrounding me. I honestly don't know how I'll be able to function in such a shamed and broken country that I forsee under a McCain administration.

I can try to console myself with the coverage that Palin doesn't understand basic economics - in particular that deregulation her party claims to love so much... but it's no use. Four more years of hell - here we come.



UPDATE:

I'm still bummed, but here are pictures of Edward Norton being awesome and attractive at a photo shoot for Breil - for whom he will be a spokesman for something like three years!

I am Jack's suave je nais se quoi.

I am Jack's huge watch.

Even alex has to give it up!

Sarah Palin on Women in Politics

Sarah Palin on Hillary Clinton's candidacy:


"Coming from a woman candidate with any kind of perceived whine or, you know, maybe a sharper microscope put on her, I think "Man, that doesn't do us any good!" Women in politics or women in general, wanting to progress this country... Fair or unfair, I think [criticism] is there. I think thats reality and I think its a given. I think people should just accept that she is going to be under that sharper microscope - so be it! I mean, work harder. Prove yourself to an even greater degree."

Alright, Sarah. Then can we ask you a few questions? Oh, only to one reporter at this time? Way to work harder!

Watch the video here.

South Beach Diet: Day 1

So, it's a diet. And it's been a full day. I'm full but not of the stuff I really wanted to taste - any surprise?

It's hard to be enthusiastic about discipline/ not eating junk food and therefore, my blogging is really suffering. Blame the South Beach!

Because I'm depressed about the Colts AND because I love me some carbs, below is a photo montage of food I missed today:

Lucas OUCH Stadium

Uhhh, so my Colts did not have a great night at their season opener versus Da Bears. Because I want to be supportive, I will say that the new stadium is looking good:


But its inaugural game?

OUCH!

Typically, I don't watch early in the season because (like most things) I get way to invested in each game and give myself an ulcer. Under normal circumstances, I wish the Bears well and even cheer for them from time to time. Tonight, they were on point and the legendary defense was back in full force. Urlacher is as scary as ever. Kyle "Neck Beard" Orton performed really nicely... it's hard to imagine what Bears fans are like when they aren't crucifying their quarterback after every game. It's totally a new era.

Brian Urlacher: Always Terrifying

I think Payton's owie has really just psyched him out. He wasn't pushing back on the Bear's blitzes but, then again, its clear that he can't really put his full trust in Marvy-Marv quite yet. And with Dallas Clark out with HIS ouchie - rough start all around. At least Bob Sanders is still fucking awesome.


Screw you if you don't love you some Bob Sanders!! BOBAAAAAAY! (You do and you know it) So, tip of the hat to the Bears - defeat really smarts. Here's hoping my classy attitude will pay off for us down the line.

(Please note how I have note even mentioned my SUPER smugness about Tom Brady's knee... see how classy?!?!)

Sticks and Stones

Word usage during the conventions, from the New York Times.

It's Friday

And I have stuff to say!

SHAME ON YOU, liberal media. It's not your job to ask questions, you pinko crazies.

Peggy Noonan was the commencement speaker at my college graduation. Nothing she said that day has stuck with me at all, and therefore it comes as little surprise that her private opinion does note coincide with her her laborious columns. Pish-posh to intellectual honesty but she's sorry for the 'barnyard epithet'!

It's hard to believe the comments coming out of the RNC about how much more qualified Palin is that Barack Obama. It seems like a stretch for most people, you can see that look in their eyes saying "does this sound believable? maaaaybe?"

In other news...

The new trailer for Milk:

(UPDATED: This video has been deleted)


I don't think it's a secret that I'm not a huge Sean Penn fan - he's the ultimate Debbie Downer. However, this movie is going to be awesome.

Planned Parenthood has a new interactive website called Take Care Down There and I think it's awesome. Just the right amount of cheese to be a credible health source, but tongue-in-cheek enough to be watchable. And - SHOCKER - it actually covers abstinence as part of a comprehensive sex education!

Pants for Progress

You know... I've been hard on Hill-dawg, it's true. It is my last holdover from my high-school Republican days.

This composite from Glamour actually made my day and made me want to kick some P.U.M.A. ASS!

Were you only in it for me?

And while we're at it... Sarah Palin isn't Hillary Clinton.

Not at all.

Mmmmmm ok, just one more! I can't HELP myself!